i'm usually better at amusing myself than this. there are two half finished paintings downstairs but i'm not in the mood to work on them.

i am optimistic because it seems like i'm starting to hit home to some previously problematic people.

they're finally understanding on some level. what good is it gonna do me? none. but it may take pressure off others that have been in my situation so at least there's a sense of giving back a little.

the creature reaches
his mind in utter stillness
what are we but play grounds
for light and shadow?

what does he have
in his shadow that
haunts him? that he can't escape?
does he hold everyone and himself
to unreachable standards?

he can't decide at the moment

sometimes it seems like that
but other times not so much